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Lugubre

by Demyia

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lyrics

Don't know what's going on in my head
No longer the voice that says, "I wish you were dead," so that's good
It's more like emptiness
It's more like empty bliss
It's more like T.V static and the sound of rustling wind
And I can't hide it
When I lose myself, no I can't hide it

Strange, are these the better days they told me about
I'm working it out
Oh, try not to shout too loudly or too proudly
From the rooftops of the garden
Lock it in
I'm avante-guarding my energy
You look at me with eyes that waterfall into a saline sea
Tired of complacency: no power, no agency
Unable to help because your hands now act as currency
Every transaction demanding satisfaction
Fingertips they're gaining traction with every single action
Praying for a deadbeat deity to hear
Loving when malefic intentions are crystal clear
Hold up: why the fuck are we really here
Tighten the loose noose for another weary year

Don't know what's going on in my head
No longer the voice that says, "I wish you were dead" so that's good
It's more like emptiness
It's more like empty bliss
It's more like T.V static and the sound of rustling wind
And I can't hide it
When I lose myself, no I can't hide it

Hmm, is this the life I'm meant to lead
Pushing boulders up the hill in tragic pursuit of what I need
Or what I think I need
Perception losing depth the more I think of me
Introspective death of who I think I wanna be
I wanna leave, but my legs are tired of running
From the problems that are locked within my own mental conundrum
So I play dumb
Blatantly ignore the actions that control my fate: numb
Afraid of what will happen if I crack the code and say something
I do not mean in a moment of defense
I'm not mad at you
Sometimes the truth gets too intense
The lies I tell myself protected by a picket fence
I want to bury it deep and leave no evidence

Don't know what's going on in my head
No longer the voice that says, "I wish you were dead" so that's good
It's more like emptiness
It's more like empty bliss
It's more like T.V static and the sound of rustling wind
And I can't hide it
When I lose myself, no I can't hide it

What's going on in my head
What's going on in my head
No longer the voice
No longer the voice
No longer the voice says I wish you were dead

credits

released August 29, 2021

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Demyia Buffalo, New York

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